you are under arrest for being attractive and ruining my life
(via giftyisgifted)
geometricdeathtrap
*nervously adjusts collar* *deep breath* “fuck the police”
“i dIDN’T MEAN IT”
(via bazinga-ah)
pityreblogs
when i’m old i’m going to say “or as they said in my day “yolo swag””
(via bazinga-ah)
my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him
(via hotguysandpizza)
robertoluongo
in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke
(via hotguysandpizza)
row row row your boat gently away from me
(via uneicorn)
hippyjamfest
I want to join your hardcore band but my mom wants to talk to your mom first
(via skkinns)
how much do islands cost i want one
(via emojied)
whatsyournewurl
really nothing nicer than someone saying “saw this and thought of you”
(Source: whatsyournewurl, via emojied)
draw things on my back with your finger so i can fall asleep/ in love with you
(via imaginethat1d)
humoristics
ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
(via fabulice)
